WHO DO YOU CHOOSE TO BE?
What you see here are the results you get by your actions that you carry out as a result of the decisions you make.
The part of it you see is rather superficial and brings about short-term changes like starting to go jogging to lose weight and lose weight for a short while.
When we get below the tip of the iceberg, we see there are abilities (skills) that are the main cause of your actions. These are what we do well. We usually like doing these. For example, those who cook well would like to have a guest for dinner. But those who cannot cook well mostly invite people to eat out at restaurants (however, it is not possible nowadays).
Your beliefs contribute most to the development of your skills. The mother of worldwide famous coach, Marshall Goldsmith, used to say to Marshall, when he was 6 years old, he was not good at Math and that is why he could not be an engineer. She said it so many times that Marshall believed it. One day, when his Math teacher said he got 5 out of 5 in the Math exam, Marshall told the teacher, “I am not that Marshall.” Our beliefs are probably the hardest layer of the iceberg, which affect our skills both positively and negatively.
As a businessperson, you achieve what you believe. A businessperson who believes that he/she is “a successful speaker” can make great speeches in front of his/her team. And, a businessperson who believes that he/she “makes great sales” can break sales records.
Belief is what you think is true, but not necessarily a truth.
Your values are what contribute most to your beliefs. If Marshall had not valued her mother and what she said, he would not have believed that he was unsuccessful in Math. If your greatest value in life is success, you will have completely different beliefs of someone whose greatest value is happiness. Your values are what you give importance to.
However, the greatest factor that plays role in your long-term change is your identity.
Everything that starts with the word “I” is your identity.
If you adapt words like ‘I don’t do, I can’ do’ to your identity rather than write strong sentences starting with ‘I’, you will become the person you want to be.
When the sentence “ I am a parent” was added to your identity, what values, beliefs, skills and therefore behaviors and results changed in your life? I suggest you think about it.
Surely, what surrounds the iceberg is “water”, and what surrounds every person is his/her environment.
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A person who submits to the defeat, in the beginning, will allow his/her environment to shape and direct him/her however it wants. But a person who pursues a victory will adapt the environment for himself/herself.
If you cannot get the results you want, which decisions do you make or don’t you make (knowingly or unknowingly), which prevents you from doing the right actions?
If your actions do not align with the results you desire, still you have skills, the problem must be deeper.
While you dig deeper into the identity over beliefs and values, you will promise that you will reach the results you need. It means that it is time to recognize and get rid of the Guilt/Excuse/Refusal.
And, WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO BE “WHO” through submissions and approvals, it is possible to gradually lessen these restrictive BELIEFS AND VALUES to get stronger.
WHO do you really want to be?
ALWAYS stay happy 🙂